For the longest time I thought I was the only member in my dysfunctional family prone to being in crazy situations. Thus, this story was inevitably to good to pass up.

My younger brother Ivan, bless his abnormally small and icy heart, was recently robbed of his transportation-mobile by none other than… homeless person. (Please don’t be ashamed to laugh. I sure as hell didn’t)  

It all started when...

My brother was in need of a way to get to work when my mother suggested he have one of our bikes that we keep in storage to rot in our backyard. He agreed and my mother let him have her old bike, which she hated...with good reason too. My brother was on his way to work one night when suddenly one of the petals just flew off. He proceeded to call my aunt to ask for a hammer so he could hammer the petal back in. *Personally I just would have asked for a ride* Anyway, while waiting for her, two bums made their way over to my brother. One of them asked him if he needed a ride. He gave them a wierd look and politely declined saying that he ’was fine and that the bike petal had just come off’. One of the bums offered to help and asked my brother to move near the light so he could better fix it. My brother, for some reason felt comforted by the ’Move into the light’ comment and took up the bums offer. Once in the light the bum began to work on the petal. Meanwhile my brother took a look at the helpful bums belongings that were scattered on the floor and found a Christian Bible. Once the bum finished he told my brother he was going to give it a quick test to make sure it was safely fastened. After seeing the Bible my brother felt the bum was trustworthy so he said ’okay.’  So the bum hopped on the bike and rode and rode...and rode and my brother stood there looking after him until it finally dawned on him - He had just been jacked by a homeless dude.

My brother then looked over to the other bum standing next to him, the bum looked down at my brother and said, "I just met him. Do you want to call the cops because I think you just got jacked?"